Lifestyle, Opinion

An Open Letter to the Women Who are Always Single

I’ve always been the single girl in my group of friends.

Everyone’s got one.  The one who always ends up being the third wheel with my friends and their boyfriends.  The first friend you’ll call if you want to have a movie night on Valentine’s day because you know I won’t have plans.  The person you definitely shouldn’t ask for guy advice because my experience in that category is pretty slim.  The only girl you’ll call to go out on a Wednesday because you know I’ll be there.  The one you always fix up with your boyfriend’s friends for date parties because I’ve got no prospects of my own.

In high school, my mom always told me the reason I was still single was because everyone was too intimidated to talk to me because they were scared of my brother who is only one year older than me.  When I got to college and made it all four years without anything close to a boyfriend, it was because I was too picky.  And no matter how high your self-esteem is or how confident you are in yourself, at some point, you start to question yourself.  That little voice in the back of your head wondering, “maybe it’s me” starts to get a little louder.  And no matter how many times you brush that off, you can’t shake the feeling that you’re doing something wrong.

I don’t say this to make you pity me or my lack of a love life.

I say this to the women out there who, like me, at one point or another, have questioned themselves.  Who are strong, beautiful, independent women, but occasionally feel like they are not worthy of love.  To the girls in high school who feel less than because they don’t have a date to prom.  And even to the women in their 40’s who have yet to marry.

It’s taken me 23 years to realize that there is only one reason I’m still single and that reason is far bigger than you or me has anything to do with.  Maybe it’s because we need to learn to stand on our own two feet before we can depend on anyone else.  It could be because we need to learn to love ourselves, I mean really love ourselves, before we can love anyone else.  Or it’s because we need to focus on our goals and aspirations instead of putting someone else’s in front of our own.  I can sit here and name dozens of reasons why we’re still single, but the reality is there is only one reason that really matters.  And that reason has a whole lot to do with the Lord’s great plan for your life.  He has not put you on this Earth without a purpose and your purpose, for now, has nothing to do with a man.  So instead of questioning your self worth, try to remember that He is preparing you and your heart for the man He knows you deserve.

You are more.

In the meantime, know that you are more than the one night stands you had in college.  You are more than the guy you met at the bar last weekend that won’t text you back.  You are more than the guy you met on Tinder that only wants one thing.  And most importantly, you are more than any guy who doesn’t see your worth.

So while you wait for the Lord’s plan to come to fruition, remember to love yourself.  Know that it is not you.  And never forget that you are worthy.  That we are worthy of love.


14 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Women Who are Always Single

  1. I don’t think I have the right words to say how proud of you I am. It is amazing to me that you are only 23 and you have such insight. Most importantly, I am so grateful that you know the only thing that really matter in this life, is a relationship with the Lord. I love you so much.

  2. “So instead of questioning your self worth, try to remember that He is preparing you and your heart for the man He knows you deserve.” – I couldn’t agree more. I only realized this when I finally met the love of my life (now my husband) at the age of 27. Well written Tara! 🙂

  3. Tarah, You are one smart lady. I believe God puts someone in our lives when we are truly ready. Prior to Ed my picker was way off and it took
    me 36 years to figure this out. Look how far ahead you are. You are one amazing woman and far as I am concerned I believe there are very
    few suitors that deserve the beautiful Tarah and I mean in and out.
    So like you said “Give it to God” and watch the miracle that shows up. It’s God’s time not ours. You are one amazing woman just like your mom. xoxoxo

  4. When I read “I’ve always been the single girl in my group of friends: I was like THAT IS ME!
    Although I am not religious, I am happy your wrote this article and I do understand what you mean.
    There is no reason to worry being single…. a man will come when the time is right 😉 it just s*cks when you have to wait longer than others LOL.

    1. Haha I’m glad you can relate…I am ALWAYS the single one! Whether you are religious or not, you hit the nail on the head saying that a man will come when the time is right! The waiting is getting old though haha

  5. I know this is an old post, but thank you for this. I’m 35 years old and have been single my entire life. It’s very rare that I find any guy that I’m even remotely interested in, and the few times that I have, they have never felt the same about me. With every passing year, it gets harder and harder not to believe that there’s something seriously undesirable about me. Anyway, all I can do is stay positive and believe that life has unfolded for me as it was supposed to and that there’s some reason that I’ve struggled so much in this area. Best of luck to you as well!

    1. Hi Jessica!! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post and that my words resonated with you! Keep staying positive and I know you’ll find what you’re looking for! Best of luck and thanks for following my blog 🙂

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