About, Lifestyle

2018: Where to Begin?

I know these “year in review” things typically come closer to January 1st, not February 1st.

Better late than never, right? I’m not really sure why it’s taken me until now to write this. Maybe because I was embarrassed. Maybe because I didn’t really know how to put what I was feeling into words. Or maybe I was just lazy. Probably all three. But I’m here now.

I’m not really sure where to start or how to tell you that 2018 was one of the worst in my adult life. When I think about 2018, I remember that I was laid off by what I thought was my dream job. I remember that I was ghosted by one of the first guys I’ve actually cared about. I remember feeling so incredibly lost. I remember not really knowing where I fit in now that I was permanently living in the States again. It was the first time since high school I had permanently lived with my parents and the first time I truly had no idea what the hell I was doing with my life. Why did I move home again?

As I was throwing myself a pity party for all of the things that went wrong in 2018, I remembered all of the things that went right.

I got paid to travel up and down the East Coast working for a company I was passionate about. I visited 5 countries with my best friend and second family. I stood by my best friend from college as she married the man of her dreams. I went diving in the Keys, I moved into my first apartment in Newport Beach, and I’ve never been closer to the people I love.

As much as I like to talk about how much I learned while living abroad for a year, I have to admit that I probably learned more about myself in 2018 than any other year. For me, living abroad was more comfortable, easier. I have never felt more like myself than when I was living in Thailand. Moving home, living in the town that I grew up in, I had to learn how to be uncomfortable. I learned how to rely on other people instead of just myself. I learned that it’s okay to not have it all figured out. I learned that as much as I felt like a failure, I was also incredibly successful in my own ways.

Why am I sharing all of this with you?

I’m not 100% sure to be honest. It might be more for me, than for any of you. But if there is anything I’ve learned in 2018, it’s that life is all about perspective. What I classified as one of the worst years of my life, could quite possibly have been one of the best for someone else.

Life is hard and it’s beautiful and it’s imperfect. We’re not always going to make the right choices and more often than not, things aren’t going to go the way we want them to. In those moments, remember why you started and remember why you made the decisions you did. Hold onto that.

So let’s make 2019 the year of yes. Yes to new opportunities and yes to the things that scare us.

That’s all for now,

~Tar

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